Going deep with Court

  For the last three months or so every night when I lay down to bed my heart starts racing. I have tried everything, but no amount of resting, stretching, praying or hot tubbing seems to help. Then about a month and a half ago not only was it racing but it was also beating weirdly and wildly like it never had before. I endured a couple of hours of this and then decided to drive myself to the hospital just to make sure. Of course they hooked me up to the heart monitor thing but said that the event had stopped. Which was funny, because my heart was still racing. It was the weekend though, and having both of my kids in the hospital on the weekend taught me to lower expectations on them.   Of course I googled from the ER and the tiny word ‘stress’ jumped out at me. Hmm, sure, I got stress, but is it any more than usual? Gee , I don’t know. I have only been doing what I do for nearly twenty years now, and at this point I get to set my own schedule and do a lot of the stuff I want ...

I had one i prayed for So often i stopped using words Or maybe the groans were words Maybe emotions can run so deep they create Then the one i prayed for died By then i had given up.  I had waited for so long For the things promised to come true So this wise woman suggested something wild Let’s switch, she said,  The ones we pray for.  I’m done with mine You’re done with yours The new name tasted sweet I could use words again The deep places would still erupt And the one i prayed for- he lived So a new one i pray for Groans abound deep and ethereal But then i see it, the words so sweet ‘Didn’t you know that everything and everyone is His?’ Oh heavens no, i didn’t, why didn’t i know that? So the one i pray for- is His already.  That is an actual word from the Word. No groans needed, anymore. And the one i pray for - is already Yours. 

  It used to be that you had portions of things. A show would end and you would wait a whole week, or even a whole summer, and that was just how it was. Now you can just watch and watch. You even get trolled by the media ‘are you still watching?’ And it’s an honest question.   It is like that with food. You can just eat and eat. However is one supposed to stop? I think this may be why things like fasting and seeking simplicity are so popular right now. It’s like for all the world, the whole world is being thrust at us all at once. We are trying to cut off a square the size of a communion wafer because that is all we can handle.  Here’s the the thing: solitude can be wonderful. It was like, a go-to for Jesus. I’m not sure if you can ever truly unplug anymore, but even just some of it is better than none. But it’s like if you don’t fill the empty space left from doing a cutting out, then, something else will fill it for sure. I think there was even a parable about this-...

  I tend to be a person who gets tripped up with daily, normal activities.   Tip the waitress the wrong amount and I’m a mess. The bigger shock to me though was that He wanted me to tip that. I had a ten dollar bill in my hand and heard the prompt to get the twenty.  So I did and it felt good to say ‘no keep it please.’ But. That was before He tricked me into tipping a hundred dollar bill.  Now, I still can see her face, and the earnest excitement when she asked if it was what I meant. Because God is good (and quite frankly I am not,) at first I thought it was the twenty thing all over again. So I nodded and then I looked down at my wallet and realized the twenty was there on top. I almost audibly gasped and I looked back up at her as she was still looking up at the ceiling and thanking it. That was when it set in that I had just tipped this hotel restaurant waitress a hundred dollar bill.  I’d love to say that I dove into the moment, and truthfully upon re...

Most of my writing on here is essentially selfish processing. I write because it helps me understand this existence. I write for me, primarily. Sometimes I get bored with processing and want to start imagining. I have several projects I am midway- a third of the way or so through- and I plan to start posting whichever story I get close to finished in a serialized fashion. By this I mean like a chapter a week or a portion, whichever. Until I get one of those projects closer to finished, I thought I’d share a few short stories. This first one I wrote off a prompt on Reddit a month ago, and it has haunted me since. (also I’m doing NanoWrimo this year- so blogging may be slightly less this month.) When you buy a trinket in a magic shop.  I tapped the box lightly, it had become a nervous tick of mine. The red velvet of the jewelry box was so worn down, most recently from my frantic rubbing, that it was bald in some places.  God I hope this works. The guests started to arrive early,...